I'd go on the Bat Man rollercoaster, but ...

I'm still not tall enough.

Pete - Floral Park, NY

I'd go into the office today, but ...

I can focus more when I work in the subway train.

Jack - Sunset Park, Brooklyn

I'd keep my ponytail, but ...

I don't want to give Harvard another reason to reject me.

Mike - UWS, NYC

I'd do the right thing, but ...

I don't know what that is.

Bill - West Orange, NJ

I'd believe he's the best boyfriend, but...

He's never around.

Kelly - EV, NYC

I'd go to the beach tomorrow, but ...

I just saw Jaws for the first time.

Kim - Hoboken, NJ

Now that I'm in Boston I'd root for the Red Sox, but ...

I love the Phillies too much.

Mark - Cambridge, MA

I'd eat something, but ...

I'm too sick to keep it down.

Lisa - Tenefly, NJ

I'd give up carbohydrates, but ...

a life without cookies is untenable.

Elizabeth - NYC, NY

I'd get more serious with my girlfriend, but ...

i don't want to upset my ex-wife.

Jeff - NYC, NY

I'd go through with getting married, but...

I don't think I could be faithful.

Tom - Chicago, Il

I'd take a cab, but...

I spent my money on booze.

Ed - UES, NYC

I'd do situps in the morning, but...

I check my email instead.

Chuck - LIC, NY

I'd move to the country, but...

what about sushi?

DWE - Nova Scotia, Canada

So you'll meet them on the honeymoon

I'd have attended the wedding in Spain,

But I got stuck in Japan.

Neil - Baltimore, MD

I'd have a Crabby Jack BBQ brisket po-boy, but...

I'm not in New Orleans anymore.

Zohar - NYC, NY

Imagine how confused the cats were

I'd have followed the 10 different cat-sitting instructions given over the course of 2 days,

But her crazy owner's trip was just cancelled.

Elle - Couch Surfing, NY

Oooh! Just like in The Princess Bride!

I'd be so much happier,

But he sucks the life out of me.

Stephanie - Melbourne, FL

Editor's note: Nature abhors a vacuum - what's your intake nozzle hooked up to?

Did someone say mixtape?

I'd tell him how much I love him,

But I'm worried he won't say it back.

Sparky - New Zealand

Is this the life?

I'd be a success in life,

But this job just sucks the life out of me!

Jason - Las Vegas, NV

I'd have called to let you know I was thinking about you, but ...

I got a headache and had to lay down.

Cynthia - Las Vegas, NV

Trouble lurks when nature calls in unnatural places...

I'd go to the lavatory,

But the captain hasn't turned off the fasten seatbelts sign.

Gabe - 40,000 Ft

Moving to Canada hasn't been this tempting since Vietnam

I'd have health insurance,

But my COBRA just ran out.

Mark - Montclair, NJ

As simple as possible, but not simpler

I'd get your point,

But you use too many words to make it.

Rob - Boston, MA

Editor's note: title courtesy of Albert Einstein

HBO: more fun than your family

I'd meet my parents for dinner,

But I'm meeting friends for an outdoor movie screening.

Jim - Park Slope, NY

It's the American way

I'd blow some sh!t up,

But I'm no longer Commander-In-Chief.

GWB - Crawford, TX

Editor's note: Happy Independence Day!

This would be the home-study option

I'd go with my friend to meditate in the ashram for the weekend,

But I'd rather just sit around in my own living room.

Jenn - Jersey City, NJ

That's why Columbo is a detective and not a manager

I'd get my work done,

But my boss won't stop asking me questions.

Jim - Harrison, NY

The 21st centuray leash

I'd leave the cafe,

But I don't have internet access at home.

Kelsey - East Village, NYC